mommy wars
The term "mommy wars" refers to the great divide between moms who work and those who don't. Apparently, the divide is so vast that playgroups consist of just kids with moms who work or moms who don't, with no mixing of the two camps. It's all very silly. Most women probably see the benefits of both sides having experienced both.
In practice, this is just another way for a competitive mom to set herself apart. It starts on day zero, epidural vs. natural, and continues with:
1) breastfeeding vs. formula
2) cloth diapers vs. disposables
3) canned baby food vs. cooked
4) Ferber vs. Sears (where does baby sleep and how)
I have graduated to the next level of the competition: preschool
A few days ago someone asked me if I'd thought about preschool yet. This person has never so much as smiled at my child so you can be sure she doesn't actually care where August goes to school. I told her I'd been thinking about it but that her daycare was fine as well. She'd already learned so much there. Really, it didn't matter what I said as it was just an opportunity for her to tell me that her doctor said her child was gifted. So she felt it was necessary for her child to attend the best schools.
Beware of the mom that uses the word "gifted" instead of "smart" - especially a mom that uses this label before their child can be tested. This is a dangerous variety - she will be willing to put her child above everyone and everything else to the point of harming herself.
I'm not one to stand in front of an oncoming truck, so I just listened.
I'm starting a new job in less than 2 weeks. I really didn't want to switch camps mid-war, but they are giving me 10K upfront as a signing bonus and I really need a new haircut.
posted by Connie @ 9:41 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
hmm i was amused when one of the daycare caregivers told me "maybe your daughter is gifted!" but maybe i should have been insulted...
Good luck with the new job! Hopefully you will have
at least some of the 10K left over after your haircut...
Hope we can see you all in California from time to time.
(We're still apartment hunting--it's a pain and prices
are even worse that Boston.)
--The Eidolon
This preschool thing is insane. There is a huge waiting list at some of the "better" or "more specialized" preschools in the area. What kills me is they make you pay a large application fee to even have the privilege of filling out their prestigious application and remaining on the wait-list even if they know they may never get around to reviewing your application. This is almost as bad as the Big Apple. Then again, if one's kid is truly gifted, then the kid should be able to succeed even in the public school system, don't you think?
Hi Anonymous,
I can't tell if I know you or not from your comment. Hi, in any case :)
I think the "gifted" moniker is:
1) an arbitrary delineation
2) a tool for schools to get money for additional educational needs
When I was growing up in the CA school system, almost everyone I was friends with was labeled "gifted" and their success in school seemed to be linked to motivation. It's not a surprise to me that the simple tests we took for math and reading comprehension in 3rd & 5th grade had little bearing on our success or happiness in public school.
Smarts and motivation don't go hand in hand - I should know :) - and for that reason, I think parents of all types of kids should have a choice in schools to give them a chance to find a match for their child.
As for preschool, we might not even put August in one. Her attention span isn't big enough for her to make use of formal education techniques. The only reason I would put her in one is to expose her to something new such as language or activites. She's getting plenty of socialization and fun out of daycare.
Gifted children actually have a national association! http://www.nagc.org/
In 1993 the US Office of Education Research and Improvement dropped the term "gifted", replacing it with "outstanding talent". For some reason it didn't catch on...
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